Slys War
by core1trooper
Summary: The War is over but the allies are still on the hunt for a certain thief that continues to rob them of many supplies that are costing them... lets just say A LOT. The American General who is yet to be seen has posted huge amounts of money for his head making it impossible to enter so much as some random bar without getting noticed, but sly has more then a trick or two left to play
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

After many years the great war had gone on, the war had continued 6 long years, the Germans had been that much close to securing they're victory over France, it was said that the "Robber Of Paris"; was planning to hang Germanys Flag over the Eifel Tower, He had been well known for stealing British and French supplies and divvying them amongst the battalions. But as victory came so close, defeat came closer. American soldiers had come pouring into France, led by a general whose been rumored to torture prisoners. He had crushed the German army, and sent them running for the hills (metaphorically and literally), and in the end Germany surrendered. But, although war has ended, the hunt for the Robber of Paris continues, as it continues to be believed that the Robber continues to make raids on Allied supply depots. The General has staked huge sums of cash on his head and has even sent battalions into Paris hunting for him. It is said he himself is on the search…

Chapter 1

One simple night

France, 1918

In the Great Old Toads Bar, a bar located farther south of Paris, the sounds of beer keg ring loudly, singing is abundant, as does the sound of someone falling over…

"So he says "but we already surrendered sir!", and I put it to him "who told you that mate?" everyone was yelling and laughing. "Ah you should've seen him!"

"Eh jack what did you do?"

"Well we pulled up one of them Huns and we set him up in front of one of our Gatling guns, we pretended like we was loading it and pulled the trigger!, the bloody Hun pissed himself!" Suddenly the sound of a car pulling up in front of the bar is heard.

"Hey John who's that new guy over their?" says Michael pointing to the stranger sitting to the farther corner of the bar stand.

"I don't know and I don't care all I do know as he better pay his damn fine" Dimitri retorts, "He's drunk nearly an entire barrel for what he's worth and I so far haven't seen as much as a frank!"

"Well gentleman it seems like half of you are drunk and the rest might as well be" A man in a light green uniform enters.

"If isn't Mr. We can't get laid by our own wives Winthrop!"

"Oh very funny that coming from a bunch of losers that would've lost without those bloody yanks help"

"Well if were insulting each other I might remember I do recognize your platoon got overrun about hmmm…. how many times Hershel?"

"21 times John"

"21 times Winthrop, yanks or no yanks we almost lost the entire eastern end if they hadn't shown up at the time they did."

"I'll have you know the Germans had the upper hand!"

"They were the same bloody platoon from the same bloody hole in the ground Winthrop!, and I lost 3 mates of mine because of it." The sound of a shotgun rings over the yelling, an officer sporting the stars and stripes slowly stepped forward into the bar, shot gun smoking

"Now gents it's been a really nice night but do we really have to start killing each other? It hasn't been an entire week since the Huns surrendered and you're already starting to disrupt this kind pubs peace. So how bout we cool off over bottle of jack eh?" Whether or not it was the shotgun in his hand or the sound of free beer no one made trouble for the rest of the night.

"So Mr. Yankee-doodle how's that general of yours doing? I heard that they was planning a big old meeting in Versailles to discuss some pretty important stuff." Dimitri asked the American after tossing him another beer.

"Well the Germans just dropped their fighting so they're drafting some papers for them to sign nice and easy, as if they have much choice!"

"Is that so?"

"Yup, the Huns are already sending an ambassador up to Paris to do some "talking"" John suddenly drowns a keg and sends it flying "partially" aiming for Winthrop

"To hell with them all I say they should be paying for all the damned muck we had to go through to get them running for their own borders." Everyone shakes their head in agreement, everyone except Winthrop

"Well we can't exactly blame them for everything can we? it's not as if we all didn't play apart"

"Shut up Winthrop, nobody here cares what you've got to say" Just to quote no one ever did (except his mom, seriously)

"Well either way there isn't any way of knowing what is going on over there, unless you happen to say have a front row ticket." Suddenly the entire room was staring at the American.

"You must be joking!" For once John didn't have anything to say.

"How did you get invited to one of them big meetings?!" Winthrop had nearly dropped his beer.

"I honestly have no idea mates but I'm telling you this is the beginning of something mates!" He downed the beer in his hand "I'm going to get something out of this I tell you!"

"Well I wouldn't be surprised" Dimitri said simply passing him another beer, as the stranger got up to leave.

Slowly the stranger passed thought the snow, trudging past the river, until he came by a simple hut where their sat a simple radio receiver the stranger lifted the transceiver

"Bentley, when I said, "any American would do", I should've mentioned that to a more specific line of things an American that wouldn't brag it to the rest of the WORLD"

"OW!, my ears!" the ringing noise picking up as it echoed. "Listen he was the only man who would come anywhere near the outskirts of Paris Sly! With all the pubs in this part of Europe having your face on their front porch, do you have any idea how hard it was to find that rust bucket?"

"They're beer sucked; couldn't you have found something more better to serve Dimitri?"

"And risk having to lose character? Those idiots may be idiots but they're people who come here often so they'll know when something's not right"

"It tasted like something had a bath in my drink"

"That's because something did, just for you" Sly did the effortless thing of throwing up.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Bentley also did the favor of throwing up.

"When I get my hands on you I swear I will beat you until you pee blood!" sly slowly backs to a tree.

"Oh boo-hoo I feel so bad" Dimitri begins to drink a bottle of vodka making big gulping sounds in between each bottle. "Anyway did you get the invite"

"Yes, I got the invite what do you take me for some sort of common thief?" Sly brought the gold indented paper out looking it over. "So tell me gentlemen how would you like to see what a palace made of gold looks like?"

"I've already arranged for Murray to pick you up just keep walking south, I don't think it will be hard for you to see him, unless you're to drunk to tell what a giant fat hippo looks like." Dimitri said

"Oh please you're shitty beer would never be able to do such a thing" Sly spit out grabbing his staff from the hut, and taking a step out in to the cold weather, he pulled a can of kerosene out of his bag and threw it at the lighting it with a simple match. The hut burned. Sly's shadow illuminating across the frozen field. "For Germany"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

How to Rob the most powerfulest men on earth

Versailles

The lines of cars on the street progressed one by one. The "Golden Palace"(more or less) was filled with generals from all of the allied countries to discuss the fate of whatever was left of the now crippled Germany… if anything no one here had seen the general before even the troops from America were clueless as to who they're leader was… speculations were many as some felt uneasy to be gathering into one place as German artillery were still being pulled back, as not all of the German platoons had surrendered, meaning artillery were not very far away…

"I don't like this corporal." General T. Bone exited out of his limo more and more people gathered to the palace many of them not invited. "What are with all of these people?"

"They're here hoping to see what will become of them sir" The corporal rushed out of the limo trying to avoid being spotted for no variably good reason. "Most of the people here have lost someone in the war."

"How can you tell?"

"It's simply because most of them are wearing black sir" The general looked across the entire court yard, but not one person crossed into the palace. "The damn Huns better not fire on us now… how much do we have on us corporal?"

"About 50k sir, the cars got an extra 10."

"Give away all of it I've got extra in my bank account not as if giving away 60,000 is going to ruin me." The general then began to walk towards the palace. The corporal smiled

"Yes sir" The corporal then walked to the crowd.

"Wow! A lot of people here." Sly walked pass the crowd careful as to not alert anyone. "What are they all here for?"

"They're probably here to watch the proceedings." Bentley said over the hidden microphone.

"What for as far as anyone can guess the most they'll get is a speech."

"Desperation does that to you sly, who knows maybe they will get something out of the meeting." Sly drifted to the side of the crowd, to where Murray was waiting with the limo.

"What took you so long? Do you have any idea how hard it was to not get seen wearing this?" As odd as it was Murray actually looked like he was made for the job. "Some old lady asked if I would take her for a ride to some freaking play or something!"

"I don't know you look good honestly"

"REALLY? DO YO-"

"No I don't think girls will like it but, as my honest opinion you should try being a caddy driver after this is over." Sly interrupted "Do you have my suit?"

"It's in the back" Bentley said speaking out of the microphone in Sly's jacket. "That actually raises a question Sly, what are we doing after all this is done."

"Simple my good man, we go back to working our old lives."

"I-I don't know if I can go back to living a regular life I mean… it's been 6 years."

"Don't worry how hard can it be I mean; it's not as if…"

"As if what Sly?

"Nothing, never mind let's just get this done."

The Palace was filled almost to the brim everyone who had been invited had arrived, everyone but the guest of honor…

"Where is the American general?" T. Bone sat in the front row, his corporal standing at attention

"He seems not to have arrived yet sir" No one had seen the American general before, and most of the important dignitaries needed at least some representative from the country that turned the tide of the war.

"As usual damn Americans always showing up late"

"Maybe, they got lost sir." The corporal himself was looking forward to seeing the American himself.

"Lost? How is anyone not capable of finding this place? It's made of gold, that would inspire anyone to come rushing to it, and it's our most well-known attraction damn it!"

"Please calm sir the meeting doesn't start for another 10 minutes, that's… um, plenty of time… sort of?" The corporal shifted a little uncomfortable, he wasn't used to not knowing what was going on.

"Hmph, he better get here soon; I'm getting cramped in here." Suddenly the lights went off and only the main auditorium was lit.

"Gentlemen it seems our guest of honor to today's meeting will be late, however the decisions revolving around the war must begin, the German ambassadors arrive in 3 days if this is not done now then it won't be done at all." The British prime ministers words were met with a positive note so the proceedings began. The French Prime minister spoke first.

"The entire French country side is devastated if we allow troops into the Rhineland we can begin reconstruction, if I may allowing for the rich coal areas within the Rhine will more than likely help all of us."

"And begin another fight? Haven't you heard? German troops or whatever is left of them still maintain that area, whether we like it or not those troops will remain their till the last man, and I am not going to fill the streets with more war." The British were more or less set on a peaceful agreement.

"The German troops in the Rhine are unorganized, and outnumbered, their own government is trying to get them to withdraw, besides what could 3 or 4 platoons do against a company of our newly made tanks?" The French Prime Minister said. "The Germans started this war, France will not have it that they get off scot free!"

"Then what would you like for to happen? Britain is just as tired of the war, and the public is in an uproar, with the casualty lists mounting up all over the newspaper, if we risk sending tanks in we'll find ourselves with a revolt on the move and we all know how that ended with France."

"If we would like to bring up the past then how about we talk about how one of your incompetent platoons nearly lost the war for all of us here?" Someone in the stands started to cough.

"Listen what we're trying to say here is if we want to maintain peace right now then we have to find a more peaceful resolution then what you're suggesting now." The British prime minister wiped sweat out of his brow. "If we issue this who knows what will happen, The GOD DAMN GERMAN ARTILLERY IS ONLY 5 MILES AWAY!" Another ambassador spoke up.

"It's been proven however that the artillery there is weak and if anything in poor condition, if anything they' be lucky to so much as get a shot near Paris, or anywhere of importance."

"Scouts have however confirmed at least 10 batteries are in good enough condition to hit Paris." A stranger suddenly stepped forward. "I however can confirm only 5 are in range of Paris."

"Who are you?" The French Ministers voice was quivering as you would have to be brain dead as to not be able to recognize that voice.

"I think it's really clear who I am. Mr. Minister, otherwise you are a bigger idiot then I let you on for."

"If you are who you say you are then, you know it's the gallows from here correct?" Sly Coopers laugh echoed across the palace.

"We will see, Mr Minister, we will see." Sly pulled the trigger from out of his pocket. "My good allied generals! in my hand right now is a trigger, for over 100,000pounds of TNT, laced across this palace; how did they get their I will leave to your imagination." He flipped a switch and suddenly the entire palace seemed to be glowing red.

"How do we know what you say is true?" The British Prime Minister stood up. "How do we know he's not bluffing?"

"Well that really all depends my good redcoat. How much are you ready to bet I'm not?" The trigger in Sly's hand suddenly glowed red its pulsating light filling the room. The British Minister looked around him, and after a long 5 minutes; he sat down. "Well? No one has the guts? Nobody? Well then I guess I will set the law down, because as of now this palace is mine… for the moment. You don't think King Louie will mind right?" The entire assembly shifted uncomfortably. The pictures of the palace walls suddenly turning to a more sinister color."

"What do you want?" The French Prime Minister standing up, sweat was dropping from his brow.

"You know if this meeting had gone a lot better than what I had heard before, hearing you all rattling like a bunch of toddlers, fighting over land that wasn't yours, I might've honestly scrapped this plan."

"HOW DARE YOU" General T. Bone stood up. "You German trash you dare to insult France!?"

"Hmm? Hey that you CAPTAIN! HOWV"E YOU BEEN I THOUGHT… I thought you would've been like… you know…"

"DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE WE ARE FRIENDS! AND I AM NOT A CAPTAIN ANYMORE DIMWIT IM A GENERAL!"

"Oh come on! I only stole half a year's worth of food, loads of warm clothing, pretty much all you're ammo, and all you're por-"

"DON'T MENTION THAT PART!" The General suddenly threw a chair at Sly, and his eyes… sort of bulged, it's very hard to describe…

"Oh" Sly slapped his face. "I almost forgot… that's information you would rather hmm… not have floating around right captain?" The General started to sweat. "I'm certain a man like you so very wealthy would more than happily to pay a good amount of money to keep my mouth shut."

"Um, sly?" Bentley's voice emanating from Slys coat pocket.

"Yes"

"One crime at a time please"

"Oh, right, sorry…" Sly slowly turned to the great crowd all of them staring at him with the same thoughts in their minds "I guess we might as well get started."

"Started on what exactly?" The British Prime ministers beard stood bristled to the point that several people started to move away from him. "The war is lost, nothing you or anyone else can do Cooper" A strain mark on the thief's forehead appeared.

"I will make it plain to you Mr. Minister, I already know that very well" He took a step forward. "Do not think I have any illusions as to who won the war, but the thing is it wasn't you" He pointed his finger to the minister. "Or you or you or you or you or you…" He continued to say this until finally he had pointed to everyone in the assembly. "It was all thanks to good old America who won the war" His teeth were clenched at the word "America", his hand produced a piece of paper.

"What is that" The general asked.

"This little piece of paper my good man, is a little something that's going to ensure Germany's survival."

"Excuse me?"

"As any person knows, who on earth is going to give up a chance of taking everything that his or her enemy has and rubbing it in they're enemies face for all to see, for as long as there is such thing as a text book to be seen which is why I have compiled my own little treaty, that will hopefully leave us all with smiles on our faces" He tossed it to the Minister who fumbled to catch the paper. He pulled out a monocle and read it over. In a matter of seconds, he threw it away as if it was poison.

"ARE YOU MAD?" His voice was hoarse.

"… Maybe a little"

"What does he want?" Curiosity getting the better of the French Minister.

"He wants everything back!" The Ministers voice quivering now. "All of Germany's colonies and territories are to be returned to her, and…"

"And in exchange I will help withdraw the troops only a few miles from here." Sly interrupted

"What makes you think we can't drive them out ourselves?"

"Well; if you could, my good man you would've a long time ago, but you haven't which means one of 2 things; #1 your troops are all exhausted and you really don't have the manpower or #2 you have no idea where the troops are and you're currently fishing for them." The assembly was silent. "What I am offering to you is the simplest way to get your national treasures and so on out of artillery fire, so I suggest you sign."

"Shock pistol?"

"Ready Ma'am"


End file.
